Even more call centre jokes

Filed under - Call Centre Life,

Just when we thought that working in call centres was getting easier, here are some examples of the kind of calls we’re receiving…

Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”
Customer “Ok.”
Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”
Customer: “No.”
Tech Support: “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”
Customer “No.”
Tech Support:: “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this
Customer: “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.”
Customer: “I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting
the same error message.”
Tech Support:: “Did you install the update?”
Customer: “No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?”

Customer:: “I’m having trouble installing Microsoft Word.”
Tech Support:: “Tell me what you’ve done.”
Customer: “I typed ‘A:SETUP’.”
Tech Support:: “Ma’am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.”
Customer:: “It says ‘[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk’.”
Tech Support:: “Insert the MS Word setup disk.”
Customer:: “What?”
Tech Support: “Did you buy MS word?”
Customer: “No…”
Customer:: “Do I need a computer to use your software?”
Tech Support:: ?!%#$
Tech Support:: “Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see
the ‘OK’ button displayed?”
Customer: “Wow. How can you see my screen from there?”
Tech Support:: “What type of computer do you have?”
Customer:: “A white one.”
Tech Support:: “Type ‘A:’ at the prompt.”
Customer:: “How do you spell that?”
Tech Support: “What’s on your screen right now?”
Customer: “A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store.”
Tech Support:: “What operating system are you running?”
Customer: “Pentium.”
Customer: “My computer’s telling me I performed an illegal abortion.”
Customer: “I have Microsoft Exploder.”
Customer: “How do I print my voicemail?”
Customer: “You’ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document,
but the computer won’t boot properly.”
Tech Support: “What does it say?”
Customer: “Something about an error and non-system disk.”
Tech Support: “Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?”
Customer: “No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an Intel inside.”
Tech Support: “Just call us back if there’s a problem. We’re open 24 hours.”
Customer: “Is that Eastern time?”
Tech Support:: “What does the screen say now?”
Customer: “It says, ‘Hit ENTER when ready’.”
Tech Support:: “Well?”
Customer: “How do I know when it’s ready?”

The following comments have been added:
I had a customer complaint the other day for a major supermarket. When a product is unavailable we we send the next best thing. The woman who rang in to complain had ordered a batch of strawberry jelly, and we did not have that in stock. When the products arrived at her door she discovered that the item they had replaced the jelly with was KY Jelly!!! (posted by Roy)

Author: Jonty Pearce

Published On: 23rd Jan 2010 - Last modified: 19th Dec 2018
Read more about - Call Centre Life,

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  • Tech: Is the DSL light on your modem blinking ?
    Cust.: Yes, it’s blinking black
    Tech: ???

    Sephiroth 12 Apr at 18:52
  • cust: am not recevin ma mails.
    Tech: Can I have your email address please?
    cust:I’ve got a billin address n a shippin address.Is that good to do?
    Tech:You need to have an email address to send/receive email.
    Cust:Are’nt you guys responsible for the Royal Mail?

    Cust:My broadband is not working.
    Tech: Wot exactly is happenin when yew try accessin the internet.
    Cust:#$%@..I have nothin to do with the internet. I SAID MY BROADBAND IS NOT WORKING..

    Rahul 26 May at 05:14
  • agent: may i put you on hold sir while i check on your records. . (put cust on hold, cust name is mr. walker)

    agent: thank you for patiently walking mr. waiter. .
    cust: ?#?

    sox 29 May at 20:16
  • had a call from a female customer asking how much were the free international calls to spain .

    i told her they where free she said that was a good deal

    BigboyDave 9 Jun at 22:12
  • agent: i’m calling to offer you payment over the phone to bring your account to good standing, this is absolutely free of charge, shall we process the payment?

    customer: sure!

    agent: ok ma’am, do you have a chicken account!

    dek 27 Jun at 02:06
  • Agent: Ok, to insure you’re car, we need to know the year built, the make & the model.

    Customer: Its a Toyota.

    Agent: …… and what sort of Toyota is it exactly??

    Customer: A white one.

    Agent: ……?5&#@!!!!

    Missy 18 Jul at 01:23
  • I work for a Premier League Football Club, and a few seasons ago, we had a number of pre season friendlies abroad. In addition to being able to arrange tickets, we also organise Travel for fans.

    We advertised that we had 2 packages which included not only match tickets but flights as well. We thought that the descriptions of the packages were self explanatory;

    Package 1 – Includes flight – standing ticket
    Package 2 – Includes flight – seated ticket

    Yes, you’ve guessed it, we were inundated with calls asking whether it was safe to stand on a flight and could they book to stand next to the window!!

    Penny D 18 Jul at 13:59
  • I work for tech support for a networking devices manufacturing. One day had a call from a guy who was trying to install a wireless usb adaptor on his PC.
    The adaptor was installed correctly, and no networks were shown in range, so the customer became a little irate.
    Tech support: make sure your router is on and has the wireless light on.
    Customer: I have no router.
    Tech support: OK. Are you on a Wi-Fi or hotspot area?
    Customer: I don’t know what is that.
    Tech support: Do you know the name of the wireless network you’re trying to connect to?
    Customer: listen, I’ve been told that with this device I could get wireless internet, now how do I do that?
    No further comments.

    leo 23 Jul at 17:15
  • Tech: Can you please right-click on the laptop?

    Tech: Did you right-click on the desktop Mr. Howell?
    Customer: !@#~*, How am I supposed to right-click when I don’t have a desktop, I have a laptop….

    Tech: (What the….?)

    Anonymous 5 Aug at 20:18
  • I work for a media company and we do take payments over the phone.
    AN indian customer called to make a payment.
    As usual i did the security checks and asked the customer
    Me : THank you for the details MR Singh can u tell me how much is the amount you wanna pay.

    MR SINGH : 24.06£ Please !!!!

    Me : All RIght Can i Take the credit card number.

    Mr Singh : Here it goes…… Its 4417…XXXX….B73B…21BB

    Me : I’m sorry Mate are you able to read the letters one more time

    Mr Singh : OK young man i think you are tired today……..taking calls i do understand how you feel working in a call Centre.

    Mr Singh : Ready …Its …4417…XXXX….B73B…21BB

    Me : are u sure about the alphabets on the card

    Mr Singh (angry) : Ya I DO!

    Me : I’m sorry its not a valid card number…. do you wanna call your bank and check the card number.

    Mr Singh : (irate)Dont Teach me what i have to do ……its you who is not listening to what numbers i’m giving you… CAN I SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER i need to complain about you.

    (Its the worlds most irritating comment any one can hear in a call Centre)

    It was time for me to use my logic… i thought for a while of what to do and if there was any way out of asking him the number again….. SUDDENLY I GOT WHAT THE ISSUE IS BUT I WAS AFRAID HOW CAN I PUT IT ACCROSS AS mr singh WAS EXTREMELY i-RATE

    Me : ALL RIGHT.. before i transfer you to my manager can you tell me if its a “new card”

    Mr Singh : Yes ….what do you have to do with that.

    Me : Are you using it for the FIRST TIME

    Mr SIngh : YA!

    Me : credit cards are never alpha numberic …. may be the alphabet “B” what you are giving me might be NO 6

    (Mr singh suddely realised and started laughing)

    Mr Singh : You see…. its a new card …i have came to london 3 months earlier. sory to have a go at you ….do you want to take a payment and the can you connect me to your supervisor ….. i want to appreciate you.

    Nitin J 7 Sep at 13:58
  • Agent:Thank you for calling router technical support. My name is Rose. Can I have your phone number please starting with the area code?
    Customer:Yes! My phone number is 42VAN-787-3879

    Agent:Im sorry, its 24… and whats the third digits?

    Agent:Im so sorry, can you please repeat the third digit?
    Customer:Its VAN miss…

    Agent:I really apologize… I do not understand the third digit sir…
    Customer:Its VAN miss! Its VAN! Like VAN! 2! 3!…


    Rose 12 Sep at 23:42
  • Agent:Thank you for calling router technical support. My name is Ivy. Can I have your phone number please starting with the area code?

    Customer:Where are you located? We are in the Philippines sir! Transfer me to someone who can speak english better than you!

    Agent:I am the only technical support here!

    Customer:Are you kidding me?

    Anonymous 12 Sep at 23:47
  • Agent:Technical support. How can I help you.

    Customer:My computer is overheating.

    Agent:Has the system shut down randomly?

    Customer:I think so, someone plugged it in the 220 outlet, it overheated, smoke and flames.

    Agent:Sir, your warranty expired on **-**-****.

    Customer: I know that. Even if it was, would it cover complete dumbssns.

    Agent: I’m afraid it wouldn’t sir.

    Customer: Why not? Is a good Idea, A dumbssnss warranty, There are dumbsss all over the world. It will be a top seller.

    Agent:I don’t think it will with that name, which name would you use for the warranty?

    Customer ID-10-T…220 I’ll plug him on a 220 it will tickle…

    LeSponge 27 Sep at 06:49
  • Tech agent:now sir can you open windows for me
    Customer: im afraid i cant
    Tech agent(bemused by this stage)and why not sir?
    Customer: i havent got windows built in
    Tech agent:you have vista sir ,you must have windows
    Customer: i dont have windows or any kind of vista im in a converted garage and i never built windows into it.
    Silence. then
    Customer:if i open the door will that help

    mel 2 Dec at 20:32
  • Tech support: web support how can i help you?

    Customer: hi! i’m trying to book a flight on the website, but i don’t see the option!(customer very concerned) can you help me?

    Tech support: Ok! let’s get started… are you on the website right now?

    customer: yes! im on the website.

    Tech support: do you see the logo?

    customer: yes i see it, but, i don’t the option to book a flight!

    Tech support: Ok sir what do you see on the page?

    Customer: it says google.

    Ferk 18 Jan at 02:42
  • i worked for an inflatable pool company and we had quite a few customers like this :

    miss, how ‘m i supposed to git da water in da inflatable ring at da top o’ da pool?

    sir/mam, you are to inflate the ring with air so that the pool may rise (it is a self rising pool)you can use any electric hand-held air pump.

    oh shi*! na’ why aint no one told me dat?

    sir/mam, that is all in your instruction manual. is there anything else i can hel you with?

    yea! how ‘m i gonna git the water out that ring, shoud i put a hole in it and den blow it up with da air?

    (muted microphone-lol)

    dj 24 Jan at 17:40
  • CS Rep: Thank you for calling, my name is xxxxx, how may i help you?

    Customer: I sent your company a fax message. Did you get it? I sent it 2 minutes ago.

    CS Rep: I’m sorry, I’m not near any fax machine. May I ask what number you faxed it to?

    Customer: its the same number that I’m calling right now.

    Cs Rep: I’m afraid your fax message won’t reach us, sir. the number you’re calling right now does not receive fax messages.

    Customer: How can you say that? I sent the fax and i got the beepy tone and the receipt and everything.

    CS Rep: you mean you had a fax message receipt confirmation?

    Customer: yes, I’m looking at the small piece of paper that popped out of my fax machine after i sent it to you guys

    CS Rep (out of curiosity): Sir, what does the receipt say?

    Customer: it says “Fax Message Sending Failed”

    CS Rep: *%#$%@#$%

    malakuku 27 Jan at 05:10
  • Tech support:Thank you for calling, my name is xxxxx, how may i help you?
    Cust: i failed my exams can u tell me how to get job in your company???
    Tech support:Sorry sir, i may help u with any details regarding ur phone connection…
    Cust:hey dude… leave that… what should i study to be in ur place?? how much they pay you???
    Tech support:Sorry sir, i may help u with any details regarding ur phone connection…
    Cust:arey my mom n dad are gonna screw me up… pls help me this time…
    Tech support:Sorry sir, i may help u with any details regarding ur phone connection…
    Cust:what have u studied??? tell me now… i want a job… pls arrange for it…
    Tech support:Sorry sir, i may help u with any details regarding ur phone connection…
    Cust:pls ok… i will call u in ten minutes… tell me what to study… or can i hav ur prsonal number???
    Tech Support: Sorry sir but…
    Cust:why dont u understand… i will ask personally…ok ?
    Tech support: ??!!@#$#$…(Line fades)

    shriya 19 Feb at 19:12
  • I asked a old lady customer to tell and spell her mother’s maiden name while filling out a credit card application over phone.

    She said M.O.T.H.E.R. 3 times!

    Baski 6 Mar at 17:18
  • I have a friend who is a remote call-center agent for a couple different call centers. One is an appliance technician, one is a suicide hotline, and the other is for a collection agency.

    Line 1 (appliance tech)-
    Agent: You’ve reached xxxxxxx Appliances, how may I help you today?
    Customer: I’m having an issue with my new toaster.
    Agent: Alright, sir! I’d be happy to assist you. What is the model number of the toaster you purchased?
    Customer: xxxxxxxxxx
    (Line 2 beeps)
    Agent: Ok, sir! Give me one moment to look up your product. I need to put you on hold for just one moment.
    (Picks up Line 2)
    Agent: Suicide Hotline. What seems to be the problem?
    Caller: I hate everyone and I have no friends and my family disowned me. Is there really a reason to live right any more?
    Agent: Ma’am, where are you right now?
    Caller: I’m in my bathtub.
    (Line 3 beeps)
    Agent: Ma’am. I’m here to listen, and I really do want to help you, but I need you to hang on the line for just one moment. Can you do that for me?
    Caller: I guess….what’s a few more seconds.
    Agent: Thank you, ma’am. I will be right back.
    (Picks up Line 3)
    Agent: xxxxxxxx Creditors. How may I assist you?
    Caller: I received a collection notice in the mail that I would like to dispute.
    Agent: Ok, sir. Can you please hold for just one moment?
    Caller: I guess.
    (Picks up Line 2 thinking it’s Line 1)
    Agent: Ok, I’m back. Thank you for being patient with me. Is your toaster currently plugged in?

    Anonymous 3 Jun at 20:14
  • its very difficult to work in a call center please dont host jokes …and insult customers its only because of their ignorance and lack of knowledge u r getting paid k …

    janet 25 Jun at 08:21
  • rep: thanks for calling bcbs may i have your contract number please?

    mbr: i just gave you my SS#..

    rep that was an automated system i need your contract #

    mbr: you mean my group # its 999..

    rep: no i asked for the contract #

    paula 2 Jul at 00:25
  • I remember one time, taking a call, the customer requested to be transferred to someone in the US (I am located in Argentina). Sadly, we did not have a way to directly transfer a customer to the US… now, for me (and just about anyone else here, in the phillipines, india or elsewhere) its quite annoying that customers request to speak to someone from the US… I actually can speak english. So what I did was, I told him that I was located in America. when he asked me where exactly, I said I was in Argentina, South America :p hehe. The customer was angry at my response and he said that he wanted to be transferred to someone in North America… so I said (even though i could not do so) that I was going to transfer him to someone y french-speaking Canada :p even angrier he said that wanted to be transferred to someone in the United States! To which I replied that I was going to transfer him to the United States of Mexico (Mexico’s official name is Estados Unidos Mexicanos – Mexican United States)… all of the sudden cust hung up :p

    stormman 20 Aug at 19:31
  • Me : customer care how can i help you ?
    cust : yes i want internet service on my phone
    me : ok what type is your phone ?
    cust : its nokia
    me : ok which model ?
    cust : its 2009
    me : !!!! sir, its from 4 digits you’ll find it behind the battery like 6630 or 6600 or 7610 thats the model.
    cust : yes yes yes my phone is new 2009 and its support the internet
    me : !!!!!

    Muhanned 6 Sep at 18:13
  • me : customer care how can i help you
    cust : yes i need you to transfer credit to my phone
    me : sorry sir but we dont have this service yet
    cust : no i need it tranfer it now
    me : sir we are sorry we dont have this service yet
    and again again again finaly
    Me : ok sir i will transfer 1 dollar but you have to bring it back when you recharge
    cust : yes yes yes i will do i swaer cross my heart
    me : ok sir you have to be carefull you have one shot
    cust : ok ok
    me : okay do what i say exactly right now
    cust : ok
    Me : hit ##1# then hit the RED botton
    cust : tot tot tet tot then suddinly tooooooooooooooooot
    Me : totaly happy

    Muhanned 6 Sep at 18:21
  • (tech account)

    Tech: OK, i’ll be providing you with the code, its. CWMP34…

    Cust: Wait,w ait, wait, can you speak a li’l bit alowly?

    Tech: Ok it’s C… W…

    Cust: wait, can’t understand you..speak more slowly and clearyl

    Tech: ok, C, as is Cat, W as in…

    Cust: I Still can’t understand you… please speak clearly

    Tech: (mumbles) OK mam, it’s C, as in Cat, C-A-T, as in meow meow!!!

    deedee#10 29 Oct at 03:17
  • Me: Ok man now I need you to right click on the printer icon,
    Cust: What is right click?
    Me: Ok if you look on your mouse
    Cust: WHAT MOUSE??
    (hear a raffling sound,
    Cust: Ok sorry I jumoed on my desk, where do you see a mouse?

    Marijke 4 Dec at 09:42
  • tech: Ok sir I need you to open my computer
    cust, ok wait let me go fetch a screw driver
    tech !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Marijke 4 Dec at 09:43
  • cust: I have no power to my printer
    tech: Ok mam, I need you look on the AC adaper, is there a constant green light on?
    cust: yes
    tech: ok mam wat is the model of you printer
    cust: Its a Kodak XxXx
    tech: Ok mam we are going to check if your printer is in sleep mode, I need you to hold in the on/off button for 10 seconds
    cust: ok

    tech: ok mam what is happenening
    cust: nothing
    tech: Did you hold in the on off button
    cust: no
    tech: is there a problem
    cust: i can no find the on off button
    tech: ok mam look on your control panel screen of you printer, there is a button that says on/off
    cust: ok
    tech: ok mam anything going on?
    cust: no
    tech: ok mam, have you tried other plug point, power sources?
    cust: yes I have, I have plugged the adapter into all the sockets in my house and the pritner has no power

    (just had a feeling I should ask)
    tech: mam, please check that the power cable and adapter are securly plugged into the back of the printer
    cust: just hold on the adapter is upstairs.
    tech: (confused, waiting)
    cust: Ok now what
    tech: mam have you tried plugging the adapter and power lead into the printer itself?
    cust: No
    tech: Why
    cust: Its suppose to be a wireless printer
    tech: !!!###**(**%

    Marijke 4 Dec at 09:50
  • Customer: Where am i callin?
    Agent: Pelepens ser.
    +++ Customer hung up +++

    Quincy 12 Dec at 16:09
  • Conversation between a CSR at a Mobile Company within the caribbean(Jamaica)
    Agent:Pleasant Good-day how may I assist?

    Customer: Morning Ma…am,(in dialect) I have a problem, can You help me?

    Agent: Sure, delighted to assist please let me know how I can help.

    Customer :Ma..am I was cooking a big Pot of Red Peas Soup I had my nokia phone in My Bosum( in bra) and I realized that It not in my Bosum anymore so I started to look for the phone ma..am then i think back and memba( remember) sey ( that) the last I had it was over the pot……..pause from customer…..

    Agent: Hello ….please do continue what happened?

    Customer: Yes the Peas in the pot was pressuring Ma..am so I took the pot off the stove Ma..am and I took a mi long spoon and started stirring the pot to ensure the peas ok ma..am and suh comes I realize Ma..am that the phone was pressuring into the pot for 30 mins, now I don’t know what to do please tell me how you can help me.

    Agent: Well the phone may be water damaged, I;m not sure if it will still work my dear, since it was in the pot pressuring for 30 mins you may need to take to the repairs centre, which will be……

    Customer:interjects…………..Ma…am Mi( I) Don’t care bout the phone ma..am that can pass, is mi pot a red peas soup mi waan know if it sstill good tell mi it can still eat? coz mi nuh( dont) have any more time fi cook a next pot of soup again…maam,do please tell me the soup nuh spoil , It can still eat?

    Agent:…..long pause…mutes the call( dying of laughter)…I’m not sure,perhaps you may confirm with a doctor on that if it still healthy to eat????\

    customer:I eat it it taste even sweeter so I will try my luck take care have a good day maam..Thanks

    Agent..Sure you too,Have a good day..

    fiona 14 Dec at 01:26
  • i work in a call center and these jokes are very stupid and not even funny i suggest not becoming comedians

    elizabeth 23 Jul at 09:27
  • Working in a call centre doesn’t require u to lose your sense of humour surely? have you ever cracked a joke in your life? Always someone, something or some situation is at the brunt of that joke. Lighten up please!!

    Ruth 3 Aug at 15:41
  • This is amazing !

    Thomas 13 Aug at 23:58
  • Jokes are good!

    Sasha 15 Aug at 01:32
  • True story:

    HR-Rep to me: Raising her voice over the partitions “Hey Junkie,,, could you come over here for a sec and show me how to take these words in this document and put it in an email?”

    Me: – With a perplexed look on my face – You want me to do what? Show you how to cut and paste words in a document into an email?

    HR-Rep: Yes I have this newsletter that marketing gave me and I need to send it in the body of an email. Hurry up and come over here…

    Me: Wait,,, you don’t know how to cut & paste words in a document? I’m sorry I cant help right now but I will when I’m done working on a mission critical issue for our call center ok?

    HR-Rep: (Raising her voice even louder like it’s going to make a difference)- It will only take a second and I need to get this out now, Marketing gave this to me and it needed to go out 60 days ago… Now get over here…

    Me: Seriously? You needed to do this for 60 days and you couldn’t figure out how to cut & paste into an email in that amount of time… Sorry, I’m not coming over there – (raising my voice like it would make a difference)Heres how you do it – Select the text, right click – copy. Open a new email & in the body of the email- Right click – paste. There, I just gave you the answer if you have any further questions put in a service ticket.

    Hr-Rep – In all my tenure here I’ve never had to put in a service ticket, if you don’t want to help me then I’ll just get your boss to help me.

    Me: If you insist – go right ahead, I have 300 people in a call center who cant take calls right now because you don’t know how to cut and paste. Tell you what, send it to me and I’ll see what I can do.

    (This starts the beginning of an epic email battle resulting in me actually doing what she requested and all I did was “Cut & Paste” from the document into an email… After I did her work for her she immediately tells me over email that I didn’t “space the words correctly in one paragraph”, some Font wasn’t bolded, and she wanted the words to say this instead of that”)

    Long story short – I told the Fat Whiny Big Boobied COW that I’m not going to do her work for her and that she needed to learn how to cut & paste because I’m sure you needed those skills to get hired for her job in the first place.

    She got my boss involved, I got her boss involved. They both told us we were being childish, she apologized via email but included in the email how she was absolutely certain that it was my job to assist her in completing her task then took digs at me thinking her boss was going to back her because she pointed out that it was such a simple thing that my boss took 5 minutes to do for her.

    Next day – she was fired… They didn’t even have her come in, fired her over the phone… After careful review of course of her exceptional skills, awesome talent and Godlike prowess – she must have been hiding in her boobs. – Minus the ability to “Cut & Paste”


    iisjunkie 20 Aug at 22:07
  • I just want the ability to tell the truth without the fear of being fired.

    david 2 Sep at 07:06
  • A real Situation.

    Customer (Smart): I know you are not located in UK. Gimme your address

    Agent (lies): In Crown Street, Manchester,….

    Customer (Smarter): Al rite then, Wats the river thats flowing down Crown Street.

    Agent (unable to figure out if there is a river down crown Street) : Sir, Thats Highly Confidential Information!!.

    Customer : !@##$#!

    Ethan 21 Oct at 16:56
  • Just had a thing with a credit card call center agent a moment ago. Thought I should browse and relax before I file a complaint against her. These jokes helped me to take things lightly. I realized we customers should give these agents a break. Glad to stumble upon this page. 🙂

    Julia 4 Nov at 14:59
  • cust:they said i was buying wireless internet. then why do i need a phone jack?
    me: because the internet signals come through the phone wires to your modem which transmits the wireless signals.
    cust: but i’ve wireless


    cust: i’ve a virus in my pc.
    me: sir this is internet tech support. you need to go to our fee based support for help.
    cust: but where did the virus come from?
    me: most probably while u were online.
    cust : so you mean to say when i was on the internet that i get from u guys.
    me: yes sir
    cust: so that means the virus came through the your dsl cables. so u sud be helping me for free rather than charging me.
    me: (mute) DAMN

    anjali 17 Dec at 04:00
  • Tech Support: “O.K. Bob, let’s press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter “P” to bring up the Program Manager.”
    Customer: “I don’t have a ‘P’.”
    Tech: “On your keyboard, Bob.”
    Customer: “What do you mean?”
    Tech: “‘P’ on your keyboard, Bob.”
    Customer: “I’m Not going to do that!”

    Outbound Call Center 20 Dec at 10:19
  • Tech support: Sir, press the option that says ‘settings’.
    Customer: With the battery in or out?

    Sam 8 Mar at 16:00
  • reps chatting whiel waiting for a call. Suddenly a call came in …
    Agent: thank you for calling tech support my name is Andy, Is that correct?!
    Cus: ???!!!!??

    azriel 26 Jun at 18:41
  • I was too sleepy while taking calls, and assisting customer to power cycle his phone, and didn’t notice that i fall asleep in the middle of the call, and got awake because customer is yelling me; saying “what the hell are you talking about”?,the he hanged up..
    I asked my colleague if what did I say that got the customer irate, “you said did you purchase a slice of cake today?”..(it is because i’m dreaming that i’m purchasing a cake)lol

    tantrums_alert05 25 Sep at 01:26
  • agent having a hard time to verify customer’s last name and doing the phonetics
    agent: sir,its “p” for paul
    customer: no,it’s letter “p”
    agent: yes sir,it’s “p” for paul or peter?
    customer: no it’s “p” for phone…


    tantrums_jho05 25 Sep at 01:36
  • i am a personal shopper and i was so bored that time that i browsed our webpage for some screw drivers when suddenly the phone beeps…

    me: hi my name is christian and its my pleasure to assist you as your personal DRIVER (combines personal shopper with the screw sriver that im looking at) how may i help you today???

    cust: ??? .. is this a driving agency???

    me:(just realized what i said) im sorry we’re having technical difficulties. pleas do give us a call back. (disconnected)

    lesson: FOCUS!

    nai 4 Oct at 02:55
  • regarding the phonetics i’ve had some experiences with some customers (mostly asians) calling from US.
    me: can you spell your last name for me please?

    cust: (irate) don’t you get it!? ok i’ll say it one more time and then connect me to your manager…N for “never”, G for “JIGSAW”..

    me: (had to mute to laugh)

    cust continues: U for “unicorn”, Y for “yellow”
    E for “XRAY” and N for “never”

    me:(while on mute, i had to turn the speaker phone on so my colleages would hear)

    nai 4 Oct at 03:04
  • we r in India, one day I got a call from a customer.
    Customer. send me a modem.
    Agent. Sir I need the authorization from your wife. Can I have a word with her.
    Customer. No u can’t.
    Agent. then I apologies, without the permission of the account holder I can not process the request.
    Customer. Are u kidding me?
    Agent. Silent
    Customer. Then my name is Jeneffier. I am the account holder. Now is it ok?

    Ali- Alias Don 3 Dec at 07:28
  • Customer wanted to add international dialing and wanted to know how much it would call to New Mexico once she bought the package.

    David Salmeron 6 Jun at 20:04
  • Agent: Hello, would you like to buy a new laptop?
    Me: Is that a computer?
    Agent: ?

    wtflolok 9 Jun at 20:16
  • now, this is funny. I loved it!

    MS 2 Jul at 23:20
  • agent: Hi this is casey, how may i help you?
    Cust: Im so sorry can you repeat your name?
    agent: My name is Casey!
    Cust: Can you spell your name for me?
    agent: Yes! its Casey like C for Apple…..

    pandz 18 Aug at 09:37
  • well. this made me get ready for my first day. all of these are not jokes- they’re definitely real life experiences- things you can’t make up. 😀 i love it. thank you.

    anonymous 27 Aug at 09:37
  • Thank u for calling xxxxxx. my name is blessie and il be happy to help you today.

    cx: wats ur name again?
    rep: ma name is blessie maam
    cx: no!! from now on ur name is Mary..

    rep: (nga nga)

    blessie 21 Jun at 03:48
  • Me:Okay sir, lets powercycle that Roku box, unplug the power cord for 15 seconds and plug it back in
    Customer:Hmmm..I’m not sure I can do that..I have a Universal Remote…
    Me: O_o

    BJM 1 Dec at 03:10
  • Agent while on mute..

    Cust: hey are you still there?

    Agent: oh sorry, yes! im still THERE! 😀

    Zeph 18 Mar at 08:26
  • cc in europe.
    agent: my name is xxxx how can I help you?
    cust: my phone doesn’t work?
    agent: is it turned on? is the battery charged?
    cust: yes it was…before
    agent: before what?
    cust: before I put it in the microwave oven to dry out.

    anoymus 29 Aug at 16:58
  • My company’s an internet service provider.

    A customer called in regarding unable to surf on a PC using home broadband.

    Agent: Is the problem only on that computer? How about other devices like maybe you smartphone? Able to surf on it?

    Customer: Huh? I have no problem surfing using my phone, i can get internet fine no matter where i go, all over the country.

    Agent: ……

    Elliot 28 Oct at 22:03