Telling a customer they’re wrong can feel like walking a tightrope. On one side, you want to provide accurate information and protect your company’s policies. On the other, you don’t want to offend them, damage the relationship, or lose their business.
That’s why we asked our consultants panel – featuring Helen Pettifer, Jenna Birchall, Maria McCann, Michelle Spaul, and Sue Duris – for their best advice on what to do when the customer IS wrong and how agents can correct a misunderstanding, whilst still making them feel respected and valued.
Meet the Customer Where They Are – Without Judgement
Before an agent can correct a misunderstanding, they need to understand how the customer arrived at it. Meeting them where they are – without judgement – is the first step to turning a potential conflict into a constructive conversation.
Remember That the Customer Is “Emotionally Right”
It’s important to consider that, from the customer’s perspective, they are often emotionally right. This may also mean that they expected a very different outcome to the outcome they are now receiving.
Responding with empathy, clarity, and care is important, for example:
- “While we can’t reverse this particular fee/charge, here’s what I can do to help you moving forward…”
- “I really appreciate you bringing this to our attention – It helps us improve, and I’ll make sure this feedback is shared.”
- “Thanks for sharing this and helping me see things from your point of view. Your feedback will also help other customers – thank you.”
Contributed by: Jenna Birchall, Vulnerability Consultant at Helen Pettifer Training Ltd
Bridge the Gap Between What They Understood and What You Meant to Communicate
The moment you think a customer is “wrong,” you’ve already lost the battle. So, instead of correcting, bridge the gap between what they understood and what you meant to communicate.
Own the confusion first! For example, “I can absolutely see why you’d think that based on [what they said]. Let me clarify how this works, because we may not have explained it clearly enough…”
This does three things: validates their logic, removes blame, and positions you as an ally solving a shared problem.
Tone matters more than words. A collaborative “we’re in this together” energy transforms defensive customers into partners. When you stop needing to be right and start needing to be helpful, these conversations become opportunities to deepen trust rather than test it.
Contributed by: Sue Duris, Principal Consultant at M4 Communications, Inc.
For advice to improve the quality of your communication, read our article: The 7 Cs of Effective Communication
Use “Tried and Tested” Phrases to Defuse the Situation
When emotions run high, using simple “tried and tested” phrases can help agents ease tension and protect the customer’s dignity, whilst still providing clarity.
These small but impactful choices can help soften the correction, making it feel supportive rather than confrontational.
Protect the Customer’s Dignity by Saying “That’s a Really Easy Mix-Up”
In Japanese hospitality, there’s a concept called Omotenashi – something we use often at Neos Wave. One of its principles is to care for someone sincerely, anticipating their feelings as well as their needs.
In moments where you need to tell a customer they’re mistaken, that means saying things like “That’s a really easy mix-up” or “I can see why you’d think that.” It softens the landing without losing clarity.
It’s also important to be mindful that people react from different places: frustration, worry, pride; and if we rush to correct, we often butt heads between their emotion and our logic. Taking a breath, asking questions, and listening gives both sides space to reset and talk like adults.
Contributed by: Maria McCann, Co-Founder of Neos Wave
Use Language That Feels Collaborative – Rather Than Corrective
It’s so important that agents use language that feels collaborative rather than corrective, as this helps customers feel heard and valued.
So first acknowledge that feeling and then focus on clarification, for example:
- “I can absolutely see why you’d think that – it’s not obvious at first glance.”
- “That’s a really easy one to miss; I completely understand why you’d see it that way.”
- “It’s confusing at first – I thought the same thing when I started here!”
- “Let’s double-check that together.”
- “Here’s what I’ve found when I looked into it.”
- “I think there might be a bit of confusion – it happens all the time.”
- “It’s a common mix-up – you’re definitely not the only one.”
- “Let me show you where that information is; it’s easy to overlook.”
“Laugh With, Never At” to Keep the Conversation Light-Hearted and Human
If appropriate to the customer and conversation, agents can also try adding a touch of humour to help defuse tension, but it must be gentle and inclusive, for example:
- “That one’s caught out more people than I can count – including me on Monday morning!”
- “You’re in good company – it seems to be everyone’s least favourite screen!”
- “It’s one of those rules that makes sense only once you’ve seen it in action.”
- “If I had a pound for every time this question came up, I’d have retired by now!”
- “They didn’t exactly make that button easy to find, did they?”
- “I wish it worked that way – that would make both our lives easier!”
- “I’ve been here years and still double-check that one myself.”
Remember the golden rule: laugh with, never at. Keep humour warm, not witty – a friendly tone (“I know, it’s not the clearest system in the world!”) works better than a clever quip.
Contributed by: Helen Pettifer, Director of Helen Pettifer Training Ltd and a specialist in the fair treatment of vulnerable customers
Choose the Best Way to Move Forward
Once a misunderstanding has surfaced, the final step for the agent is deciding how to navigate it – so help them to recognize when more clarification is needed, but also when the most respectful option is to just let it go.
Invite the Customer to Discover the Truth Together
One approach is for agents to invite the customer to discover the truth with them. “Let’s take a look together” or “Let’s see if we can sort this together”. It turns an awkward moment into a shared discovery and helps them feel like they’re on the same side.
In the end, the agent should ask themselves: is my goal to inform the customer they’re wrong or to help them discover the truth? That choice – in tone, intent, and approach – defines how the customer will feel long after the conversation ends.
Contributed by: Maria McCann, Co-Founder of Neos Wave
Stop and Think If Correction Is Even Necessary
It’s equally important that agents stop to consider if correction is even necessary, as this 3-step process highlights:
Step 1 – Listen Fully
Encourage customers with affirmations and gentle prompts. If they insist on a date, agents might say, “I understand you spoke with someone three weeks ago on Tuesday. Do you remember their name?” This keeps the conversation moving without challenge.
Step 2 – Decide If Correction Is Necessary
If it doesn’t change the outcome, reassure your agents that it’s OK to let it go. Whether they called on Tuesday or Wednesday makes no real difference. But if the timing does affect a returns period, for example, they will need to clarify this.
Step 3 – Handle Correction Carefully
This is the hard part, but when listening and affirming has already helped, agents should next try, “I know you remember the call as three weeks ago. Unfortunately, our records show it was last week.” Then pause. Let the customer process and respond.
Most people soften once they feel heard. From there, agents should explain calmly. If they also plan a goodwill gesture, they should signal it early. For example, “Normally we only accept returns within a week, but in your case, I can make an exception.” Saying ‘normally’ deflects defensiveness.
Look Out for and Learn From Patterns
And finally, look out for and learn from patterns! If these calls happen often, agents should be encouraged to share what they notice.
For example, perhaps customers call within a week of opening a parcel, which might point to unclear messaging or a policy that needs review.
Contributed by: Michelle Spaul, Customer Experience Management Consultant
It Isn’t About Proving Them Wrong – It’s About Protecting Their Dignity
Correcting a customer isn’t really about proving them wrong – it’s about protecting their dignity whilst guiding them toward the right information.
After all, when agents can swap blame for curiosity, and correction for clarification, they can truly embrace the opportunity to turn confusion into connection.
For more information to improve your customer interactions, read these articles next:
- New Ways to Help Agents Build Rapport
- The Worst Examples of Saying “Sorry” to Customers
- 10 Essential Building Blocks for Earning Customer Trust
Author: Megan Jones
Reviewed by: Xander Freeman
Published On: 14th Jan 2026
Read more about - Customer Service Strategy, Call Handling, Communication Skills, Customer Experience (CX), Empathy, Helen Pettifer, Jenna Birchall, Language, Maria McCann, Michelle Spaul, Service Strategy, Skill Development, Soft Skills, Sue Duris, Top Story
